So do I.
I realize Lucy still hasn’t answered me and I drop a kiss on her forehead, breathe deep her delicious scent. “Why are you nervous, Luce?”
She releases a shuddery breath. “Because tonight is special. One of our last nights together, Gabe, and I want to make it good.”
“It’s always good between us. Just having you with me makes it good.” I kiss her again, loving how easily she opens to me. All shyness is gone. She is open and adventurous and sometimes shockingly wild. I fucking love being with her like this.
“You are too sweet,” she says with a sigh.
“So are you.” I claim her mouth, not wanting to talk any longer. More like I want to show her how I feel and not tell her with a bunch of words she might interpret as meaningless. Not that they are, I mean every word I say but actions speak louder.
They always have.
“Let’s go to your room,” I tell her, taking her hand and leading her toward the staircase. “We can get naked and spend the night together.”
Lucy starts to laugh, a nervous titter that makes me think she could be seriously considering giving me her virginity. If that’s even a thing. Is that how it’s phrased? Hell, I don’t know how to act. What to say. I should accept it like the gift that it is. I know that.
This girl…she’s starting to mean everything to me.
More than I care to admit.
I’m shaking. Like, literally shaking and I take a deep breath to calm my frazzled nerves. Gabe’s acting like this is no big deal as he leads me up the stairs toward the room I’ve stayed in the entire summer. The room where Gabe and I have done numerous things to each other over and over again, all of them wonderful and dirty and exhilarating.
Who knew being so expressive, so free with my sexuality, would feel so damn good? I mean, I had a clue. I’m not totally ignorant. Sex is supposed to feel good. And when you’re with someone you care about it feels really good. But I was so wrapped up in fear from the constant lectures Mama gave me that anything to do with sex frightened me. I could kiss a guy. Let him grope me a little and then grope him a little in return but that was it. I wouldn’t allow myself to take it any further.
I was too scared.
With Gabe, I’ve tossed fear out the window. He makes everything so fun and adventurous and amazing. The way he looks at me, the way he touches me, how easily I come for him, it’s just…wow. If he can make me feel this wonderful when we just mess around, imagine how it will be when we have actual intercourse.
And that’s what I’ve been doing. Imagining letting him do that to me. Letting him have me. We’ve come this far, what’s the point of holding on to that one little thing? I want it, I want Gabe to be my first. And I hope it’s going to happen tonight. It’s just difficult bringing the subject up.
Hey Gabe, I’m giving up my V card just for you!
Oh hey, Gabe I think you can finally stick your dick in me now. I see you’re up for it. So am I. Finally, right?
Just do me.
I frown. No, none of those approaches will work. I’m being silly. My head tends to turn to crazy thoughts when I’m nervous and I can tell I’m in a full-blown moment of anxious energy right at this very moment…
“Hey.” He stops at my room’s doorway, lifting our linked hands to his mouth and brushing a kiss across my knuckles. “If you don’t want to do this, I’m okay with that.”
That he even says something like that blows my mind—and touches my heart. He’s so incredibly thoughtful. The girl who one day permanently snags him is one lucky B.
And why does the thought of some other lucky girl snagging Gabe make my heart feel like it’s cracking in two?
I study him, the halfway undone shirt that I didn’t finish unbuttoning earlier offering a glimpse of his tanned, toned skin. He hasn’t shaved in the last few days because he knows I like it when he rubs his rough face on my bare skin and I reach up, tracing my fingers along his jaw, savoring the soft yet sharp prick of his stubble.
“I want to do this.” My gaze meets his and his expression is so solemn. I feel like he’s taking this very seriously and I like that. “I want to be with you. I want to…you know.”
“Can’t even say it, Luce?” His voice is teasing.
My cheeks are warm. “Yes, I can.”
“Then say it.” He touches my face, drifts his fingers down along my neck, making me quiver. “What do you want?”
“You,” I whisper. Hesitate. Take a deep breath. Just say it. “Inside me.”
His expression darkens, turns hungry. Possessive. “I like it when you say things like that.”
“I’m sure you do,” I murmur, smiling, glad that I was brave enough to say the words.
He traces my jaw line with gentle fingers. “Are you sure?”
Slowly, I nod as I start to drag him into my bedroom. Not that he comes with me unwillingly. He wants this. He wants me as bad as I want him.
And that realization is heady stuff.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He curls his hand around the side of my neck, sliding his fingers until he’s cupping my nape. “I want to make this night perfect for you.”
“I know. And you will.” He kisses my forehead again and I close my eyes, overwhelmed at the sweet gesture. He always puts my needs first. He’s a generous lover, which in turn makes me want to give him the world.
I’m scared that once I have him, once I know what it’s like to have Gabriel Walker moving inside of me, making love to me, I’ll be spoiled for anyone else. He’ll ruin me completely.
But tonight, I don’t care. I want to be ruined. Only by Gabe.
“Ensuring I won’t hurt you means we’ll have to indulge in lots of foreplay,” he says with a wicked grin. “I know it’s going to be tough but I think you’ll make it.”
“Sounds awful,” I say, hoping he can hear the teasing in my voice. Feels like all Gabe and I have been doing this entire time is foreplay, all the while building up to this very moment.
“I know, right? Fucking terrible.”
We both laugh and then he’s kissing me, shutting down my brain with his perfect lips. His tongue dances with mine, and his hands roam all over my body, drifting down to play with the hem of my skirt. Anticipation sends a pulse of want between my legs, especially knowing what he’s about to discover I’m not wearing any panties beneath this dress. No bra either.
I think Gabe is going to approve of my lack of undergarment attire.
He slips his hands beneath my dress as he continues to kiss me and skims his fingers along my thighs. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close, never wanting to let him go. He’s so strong, his body so hard and firm and muscular. I reach between us to finish unbuttoning his shirt, my fingers making quick work of the buttons until it falls open and I can touch his hot, smooth skin. I trace my fingers over his flat stomach, letting them drift down to the waistband of his pants.
I’m not feeling bold enough just yet to undo those pants though. I don’t want to rush this.
He runs his fingers up and down along the sides of my outer thighs and a shiver steals through me. His hands curve around, touching my ass and they grow still. I’m guessing he’s figured out I don’t have any underwear on. I break the kiss to stare up at him.