She didn’t understand it and certainly didn’t want to even think about it. This was all so wrong. It was too much.
She had just lost her virginity today, and she’d been saving it. She thought about Bishop and knew she hadn’t been saving it for him, because … he didn’t cherish it. Who had she been saving it for? This was supposed to be her decision, and she hated that it had been taken out of her hands.
With tears running down her face, she burst out of the main clubhouse, not caring who saw her. Just as she got outside, she came to a stop when she saw the very woman who’d done this to her.
Milly was smoking a cigarette and looking really smug about it as well. “Well, well, well, don’t you look all sexy and non-virginal.”
“You drugged me.”
“That I did.” Milly threw her cigarette to the ground.
“Why? I’ve done nothing to you.”
“People look at you, the men look at you as if you’re some kind of saint, and we both know that’s not the case. Not even close. You’re nothing. You’re a piece of shit. You’ve got a cunt, an ass, a mouth, and you’re exactly like me, and I’m tired of being treated like crap because people think they’re better than me. You’re not, and what better way than to have Preacher have a taste of a little cherry pie.”
“Oh, am I? I dare you to go in there and tell your dad you slept with Preacher.”
“You drugged me.”
“I know, but the glorious thing about what I gave you, there’s no trace of it. It would be your word against mine, and we all saw you dancing sexily last night to gain his attention.”
“He wasn’t even there.” She shouldn’t believe this woman. But what if what she was saying was right? What if they believed Milly and not her? She didn’t know how she could go about this. It was all too much. She knew her mother would love any excuse for her father to hate her, or to doubt her.
Could this be it?
She didn’t want to even think about it.
“Really? How can you be so sure? If you want to test me, do so. I don’t give a fuck. I can handle whatever is thrown at me. The real question, Robin, is can you?”
“I hate you,” she said. She had never said anything like that to anyone before in her life, and saying those words now, they made her feel sick.
“Aw, you’re still so very much a child. At least now you’re a child that actually wanted sex.”
Milly cupped her face, but Robin pulled back.
“You better be on your way, little girl. Don’t want anyone to suspect what is going on, do you?”
Without waiting for Milly to mock her anymore, Robin ran out of the clubhouse. She had to get away. She kept on running until she ran out of breath and walked the entire distance home.
She couldn’t believe she was walking home.
Anything could happen to her. After three hours and maybe even more of walking, she arrived home to an empty house, which didn’t surprise her. Her parents were probably still back at the clubhouse enjoying the party, where she should have been enjoying it.
She walked straight into the bathroom and stared at her reflection.
Peeling her dress off, she felt sick to her stomach, and she hated herself so much. This was all too much for her to deal with, and as she stared at her reflection, she wanted to puke.
She hated what had become of her.
It was all just a little too much for her to deal with. Climbing beneath the spray of the hot shower, she tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and tried to think of anything that would be a lot happier than she was now. Anything at all that would give her comfort and solace against the pain.
Preacher hadn’t been gentle last night, but he hadn’t known it was her. She was sure of it.
Was it rape?
Milly had raped her, but Preacher hadn’t known, had he?
Pressing her hands against her face, she sobbed.
This was all too much.
“You’ve got to get it together, Robin. You can’t let her win. This doesn’t have to define you. You can win. You don’t have to wait around crying about anything. You’re going to be fine. You will be fine.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her rioting emotions.
One deep breath in.
One deep breath out.
She could handle this.
There was no holding back.
She wouldn’t let Milly win. No one had to know what was going on. She was strong enough to face this alone without anyone finding out the truth.
With that in mind, she finished getting changed, washing every single part of her body, and knowing she had to be strong in order to keep this secret. No one could ever know the truth.