“You are going at this in a very practical manner, Anita. I think I’m impressed, except are you treating it as a chore, not a pleasure?”
I fought not to squirm. “I go down on her because I know how much I love it, and she just started letting Domino try oral on her. She hasn’t talked about it yet, but I suspect her old master didn’t enjoy giving oral sex, so he made it unpleasant for her, like he made a lot of things unpleasant for her.”
“Do you enjoy doing it?”
I sighed. “Not really; I don’t get the high off it that I get from going down on men. Hell, I can orgasm sometimes from giving oral sex.”
J.J. gave me wide eyes again. “Really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
“Well, damn, I’ve heard that’s possible, but I’ve never met anyone who could do it.”
I fought not to be embarrassed again.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Anita; it’s great, amazing, no wonder you enjoy it so much.”
“I enjoyed it before I started orgasming from it,” I said, as if I wanted it clear it wasn’t just about me having a happy. I don’t know why, but somehow I felt defensive.
J.J. smiled as if she realized I was being defensive. “I feel the same way about going down on women, except I don’t have an orgasm from it; be awesome if I did.”
Jason laughed. “You’d never do anything else if you orgasmed from it.”
She laughed, then sobered. “Not if it was just Freda.”
I wondered if she knew she wasn’t in love with her live-in girlfriend anymore. Was I supposed to say something about it, or let it go? I wasn’t sure, so I let it go; one crisis at a time.
“Please tell me that I didn’t ruin everything between you and Freda,” Jason said, hugging her tighter.
“We had issues before you came back into my life, Jason. It’s more like the more I enjoy spending time with you, the more I see that she and I don’t have fun anymore.”
“Love isn’t always about fun,” Nathaniel said.
“No, but shouldn’t it be fun some of the time? I think I just hadn’t realized how much Freda wants to change me into someone that I’m not, until Jason came along and just accepted me for who I really am.”
“You accepted me, too,” he said.
She smiled. “I did.”
“I’ve never understood why people try to marry people that they want to change completely,” I said.
“Me, either,” she said. She looked at me, face serious, and then grinned.
“What?” I asked.
“Serious comment, but it sounds self-serving.”
“Just tell me,” I said.
“I would be happy to go down on Jade while you watched, and you could ask questions while I did it, but would she agree to it?”
“She and I talked about you before you got into town. She isn’t afraid of women the way she is men. She is afraid of some female wereanimals, but not humans. Nothing personal but she doesn’t see humans as much of a threat.”
“No insult taken, it’s just the truth. I’ve seen how fast Jason can move, and felt how strong he is, and no human can compete with it.”
“Thanks, honeybunch,” he said.
She smiled and stroked his arm. “You’re welcome, sweetums.” Then she looked back at me. “So Jade has agreed to sexual contact with me?”
“Yes, but she wanted it to be just the three of us and I wasn’t comfortable with that; sorry to be all heterosexual nervous, but I need at least one guy in the bed.”
“Really, you’ve never been alone with Jade?”
“No, and I feel bad about that, but after the foreplay I need boy parts, or it feels like it’s not finished.”
“Really?” J.J. said.
“Have you thought about strap-ons?”
“It’s been brought up by some of the guys, but I don’t really have interest in it, and I just can’t wrap my head around Jade doing it to me.”
“Why, because she’s a girl?”
“No, honestly, because I see having someone use a strap-on as a dominant bondage thing, more than sex, and I don’t bottom to women.” That last was said in a tone that was very final. It was one of the few things I was sure of.
“I don’t do a lot of bondage, but I don’t see strap-ons as bondage.”
“Po-tay-toe, po-tah-to,” I said.
She nodded. “One person’s sex is another person’s kink, I get that.”
“Also, Jade is so submissive that even if I had found a woman I was willing to let top me, it would never be her.”
“Let me just say that a woman who’s been abused like Jade can be tricky in bed even for someone like me, who’s more experienced with women, and a lover who doesn’t give feedback so you know if you’re doing it right is really hard.”
“So I’m not just being all stupid straight girl?”
Nathaniel hugged me. “I told you that you weren’t.”
“But you love me, and you’re not a girl.”
J.J. smiled. “No, you’re not being all stupid straight girl. You’re actually being very responsible and trying your best, which is a hell of a lot more than most lovers do.”
“You’re welcome. I would be honored to try to help you do oral sex with Jade, but how different are you and Jade on oral sex?”
“What do you mean, different?”
“Nathaniel, you got to watch, how different are they?”
“From what I could see, Anita takes longer to go with oral, and in fact Jade can be incredibly quick clitorally if issues don’t get in her way.”
“Any other differences?”
“Jade’s clit is lower down than Anita’s, so the positioning is different, and I think that Jade likes less direct stimulation there than Anita, which makes Anita have to go even lower most of the time.”
“That makes it harder to breathe sometimes if you bury your face deep; you could actually not be able to breathe.” She looked at me, raising the gold arch of her eyebrows.
“Let me just say, this is all a little too clinical for me, and I’m very uncomfortable right now, but yeah, sometimes my ability to hold my breath, from doing boy oral, helps me go down on Jade, because it’s just too weird to try to breathe and be that . . . low on her.”
“Okay, that gives me a starting point,” J.J. said, and then she grinned again, face lighting up with it.
“What?” I asked, and knew the one word sounded suspicious.
She rolled her eyes so she could glance at Jason, and the look of mischief was so close to some of his, I knew I wasn’t going to like whatever she was about to say.
“I know that look,” Jason said. “Anita may not like what you’re going to say.”
“Should I not say it?”
He laughed. “Go ahead.”
She turned back to me, face still shining with humor. “First, serious question: Would Jade let Jason be in the room?”
“I don’t know; she hasn’t before.”
“What men does she allow?”
“Domino we actually have sex with; well, I have intercourse with him, but Jade doesn’t yet. She lets him touch her and do her by hand and orally, so he’s good. Nathaniel if he touches only me except for sleep cuddling, which was a big deal when she finally allowed it. Jean-Claude is okay, though she’s still nervous around vampires, so he has to be careful of her issues.”
“Does she have sex with Jean-Claude?”
“So Domino is the only man she lets touch her sexually at all?”
“Why just him?” she asked.
“I think it’s because he’s the only black tiger we have, and the clan tigers enjoy being with others of their own clan.”
She mulled that over, and then said, “I wouldn’t be comfortable having Domino, I don’t know him. Jean-Claude makes me nervous in that cat-and-mouse sort of way. Nathaniel would be okay, but only if Jason was with us.”
“I should have asked Jade about Jason, too. It was stupid of me not to take your nerves into account; I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Anita; you’re doing your best for Jade, for all of us.” She seemed to think more on it, face very serious, eyes showing the level of concentration.