This time, I don’t tell him it’s impossible. I just stretch out against his big body and let him have his way with me. It’s almost like handing over that control flips a switch inside me. Like once I stop worrying about the pressure to come, my orgasm is waiting in the wings. It lifts me up and washes me out to sea. I’m vaguely aware of words coming out of my mouth, but I’ve lost the ability to comprehend them. It doesn’t matter. Not when he’s easing me back into my body, piece by piece, until I am well and firmly tethered to the earth.
Shane slips out of me and nudges me onto my back. The look on his face… I don’t know that emotion, don’t know what to do with it. It’s almost a relief when he kisses me and I can close my eyes and just enjoy him without thinking too hard. By the time he finally lifts his head and moves off me, I feel almost like myself again.
At least the version of myself that showed up at this house to fuck my almost-father-in-law.
I open my eyes. “I already said I would.”
Shane gives me a long look. “You’ve had one foot out the door the second you started coming down.” He shakes his head and pulls me up. “Stop thinking so hard and enjoy this, Lily.”
My knees don’t feel quite solid, but I manage to keep my feet as he leads me into his bathroom. I look at my reflection in the mirror. “I’d say I’m enjoying myself.” My lipstick is barely more than a memory and the smudged mascara around my eyes is a far cry from the sexy smoky eye look that I started with. Not to mention that my hair has gone from playfully messy to straight up rat’s nest. My gaze tracks my naked body, taking in the whisker burn on my neck and thighs, how pink and wet my pussy looks from everything we’ve done.
Shane walks up behind me and, holy shit, we look good. His wide shoulders dwarf me and when he sets his big hands on my waist, I feel both breakable and protected at the same time. His hair is a mess from my fingers and he’s got scratches on his shoulders and the bite mark on his forearm.
We both look like sexy messes.
He pulls me back against him and cups my pussy. Not like he’s trying to start us up again. More like he’s touching me because he can. “Sore?”
He nods as if he expects nothing less. “I’d say I’ll give you a break tomorrow, but it’s a lie.” He slowly, slowly, lifts his hand, almost as if the move pains him, and turns to the shower. “Let’s get some sleep.”
Somehow, with everything else going on, it never occurred to me that I’d be sleeping with Shane. Fucking, yes. Lying in bed next to? No way.
I get tenser and tenser as we take turns in his shower and end up back in his bedroom. Shane takes one look at my face and frowns. “Get over here.”
“Lily, did I fucking stutter?”
My heart starts hammering and I move toward him one slow step at a time. He catches my hips and pulls me against him, and then grasps my chin, lifting my face so I have nowhere to hide. “Tell me.”
Beneath his firm expression, it’s the truth that slips free. “It feels intimate.”
He arches his brows. “I’ve had my hands and tongue and cock inside you and this feels intimate.” He backs me toward the bed, and I have to climb onto the mattress to keep from being toppled. “You know why that is?”
“Because it is fucking intimate. You’re in my bed and you’re saying you feel safe enough with me to sleep.” He follows me onto the bed. “You’re saying you want to wake up in the morning with my tongue in your cunt. Doesn’t that sound intimate to you?”
I swallow hard. “I’m afraid I’m going to like it too much.”
At that, his gaze goes soft and devastatingly possessive. “You will. You’ll like this just like you’ve loved everything we’ve done so far.” Shane releases me and yanks back the blankets. He doesn’t speak again until he’s settled under them, sitting with his back against the headboard. “I’m not going to force you, though. If this makes you uncomfortable, I can crash on the couch.” He gives a wicked grin. “But you’re still going to wake up with me tongue-fucking you.”
I shiver. I almost wish he hadn’t given me a choice, because this would be so much easier. A revenge fuck is one thing. Intimacy feels like it’s coloring outside the lines, like I’m setting myself up for a broken heart with a broken-heart chaser.
I wish I could be colder. I wish I didn’t crave the feeling of his arms around me. I wish a lot of things as I tentatively crawl beneath the covers next to Shane.