She paused and turned so she was able to look him in the eye. “What do you mean?”
“Your mother wanted a boy. She believed it would be a way to control Bear more. You’re just a girl and don’t have a place within the club, only as a daughter and, if you decide, one day as an old lady.”
“But a son would be different.”
“Yep. For one, he wouldn’t be no old lady. He’d earn his patch.”
“You know it’s sexist, right? A woman not getting a place within the club.”
“Being a brother is no place for a woman. We’ve got to know our backs are taken care of by each other. Women are not stronger than us. I’m not being sexist. I’m being biologically accurate. Besides, none of my men would ever trust a woman at their backs.”
“Maybe one I hadn’t fucked.”
She laughed. “So you can only trust women you haven’t slept with. Is that because you don’t call them back or write?”
“I don’t have a place in my life for a woman.”
“Okay.” She went back to cutting his hair.
“Your mother also doesn’t like the fact Bear never fell for her bullshit when you were a kid.”
“What do you mean?”
“When he was at the club, she’d threaten to leave you outside of another clubhouse, around town, sell you to strangers. She even went so far as to leave you in the park. She also left Bishop in the park, and that was the last time she did anything like that. I took care of it. You’re a club daughter, Robin, and that gives you more power than she does. You’re Bear’s princess. She’s jealous because the truth is, if she was to leave, no one would care. You, on the other hand, you will stay.”
“So you’re saying my own mother is jealous of me because of my position within the club?”
“Yep. Some women are just spiteful like that. I’d be careful around a lot of the club women, Robin. You’d be surprised what some of them would do to try and knock that pedestal from under you.”
She didn’t even realize she was standing on one.
Making the final cuts, she stepped back and looked. Running her fingers through his hair, she was satisfied. “I don’t think that’s too bad. If I fail my exams, I could be a hairdresser.”
Preacher got up as she got to cleaning up the hair.
“Damn, you’re right. I may have to employ you as my own personal one.”
She laughed. Once the hair was cleaned up, she took some cold pizza and left Preacher to whatever he was doing.
Bishop was sitting on the floor, playing his video game.
“You done?” he asked, pausing his game.
She sat down beside him, eating her cold pizza. “I’m alive, and his hair is cut. I’d say it was a success.”
“You’re not bad at anything, Robin. When will you see that?”
She wasn’t used to him paying her compliments. “What is it you want?” she asked.
“I’m not wanting anything. Simply stating the truth.” He stroked her cheek. “I suddenly realized tonight that I don’t tell you enough just how special you are.”
“Now you are freaking me out just a little bit.”
He snorted. “Want to play?”
He didn’t try to get into her pants or make her feel guilty, so she considered that a success. She hated rejecting him, but she wasn’t ready. She didn’t want to have sex just for the sake of having done it. When she did finally commit, she wanted it to mean something, and Bishop, he slept around, a lot. The girls and women he slept with often told her about their time with him, trying to get her to snap, or make her jealous. It was odd. The first time, she’d been surprised, but she hadn’t been upset or hurt. She simply didn’t mind Bishop getting what he needed from elsewhere, and that was another reason she held back from actually having sex with him.
She loved him. There was no doubt about it. She cared about him a great deal, but did that extend to actually being in love with him?
Growing up in a home where her parents despised each other, she didn’t want a relationship with a guy to be about having a baby, or because it was expected. She wanted more.
She and Bishop had always been close and she never wanted to lose that, but just being together for the sake of being together, that didn’t seem or feel right to her.
“Are you okay?” Bishop asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Any idea who your replacement is?” Preacher asked, looking over at Milner.
He’d decided to pay a visit to Milner, the captain that was on the force, the biggest lawman in town.
“Nope. They have kept me out of the loop. They’re checking through all my files, but I can’t think of a single reason as to why they want me gone.” Milner let out a cough after he took a long drag on his cigarette. “Pieces of shit, the lot of them. They just want a bunch of new meat. I’m old news. They want me gone before it costs them more to keep me behind a desk.”